it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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