I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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