Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she was so not down for the gang bang
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
