I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
