I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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