Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
