She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
