Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
