You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
