i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize