Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
