Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You were trust falling into bushes
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
