pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i think im in europe. pls send help
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
