just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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