My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
