eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
