Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
