Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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