in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you will always have a special place in my vag
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
