the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
