i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
