too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
