you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
