I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
