So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
