We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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