If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
