I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
