I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
