wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
