she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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