FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
