I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
