It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
