I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
