the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
