Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
