Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
