Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
