Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!

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(614): View more from Ohio

I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome

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(802): View more from Vermont

beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???

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(682): View more from Texas

There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops

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(443): View more from Maryland

this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing

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(315): View more from New York

Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail

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(750): View more from

I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE

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