He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
