Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Randomize
