i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
