just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
