Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
