You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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