everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
