i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
