Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
