I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
