Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
