Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
