I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Randomize
