dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
