called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My penis needs a shock collar
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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