You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
