Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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