You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
