I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
