I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
