So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize