She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
