so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize