In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
